Christmas Special!

video review can be found here!

Twas the night before Christmas, 

And all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring,

Not even a mouse,

But up in the attic,

An evil did lurk,

A board game that turns,

Family members to jerks, 

Forgotten and dusty,

It waits there all year,

When everyone’s hearts

Are filled with good cheer, 

To start blazing arguments, 

Trouble and strife,

Where brother hates brother,

And husband hates wife,

Making money, buying property

And being mean,

A Scroogier game, 

There’s never has been

The board will be flipped,

As someone storms stroppily,

From the miserly game, 

That’s known as …Monopoly

This is the sort’ve game that gets shoved up here and forgotten about up until someone suggests we play it at Christmas and this, with my family at least, is a very bad idea. 

Monopoly is undoubtedly one of the best selling games in the world, first introduced in 1933 it has sold over 250 million copies have been sold and three of them are under this roof. The idea for this show came from sorting through the attic, it was an absolute mess and it needed organising. When going through I came across THREE copies of monopoly, my dad’s version from the 1970s, my old copy from the 90s and a new copy we bought last Christmas for £10 purely because we forgot that we had two other copies… this is thing with monopoly, it so seldom gets played, you forget you own it. So first, I’m gonna look at these three copies and see, if the board, pieces and game rules have change, if at all, over the span of nearly 50 years

Naturally, the box art has been updated over the years as to be expected, my favourite of the three here, the vintage one, hands down, it has a touch of class to it that the others seem to lack, the modern one reminds me of an early 90s educational video game. On to the contents…well, the boards are….near enough identical! The modern version folds down again to make it’s space smaller, but the street names, positioning, even the graphics are completely unchanged. I love how after nearly 85 years the stations still have steam engines, the free parking has an old car. The play pieces…well, again, largely unchanged! The classics are all here, the car, the battleship, the corgi, the modern editions include a new piece however, the cat. 

None of these have any advantage or disadvantage, they’re all purely cosmetic. What an odd assortment of objects to use for game pieces, if you’re driving round streets and buying houses and hotels, why not everyone have cars? Why is there an iron, an old boot and a top hat? Vintage copies of the game had wooden pieces for the houses and hotels.

As for the rules of Monopoly….well, these have remained unchanged too, showing that this is an enduring game nonetheless.

Speaking of the rules, this game is notorious for house rules, usually implemented to advantage or disadvantage a player. For example, whenever we played, would make a full circuit of the board before being allowed to buy anything, an utterly pointless rule that I’m sure was put in place to to stop someone buying property another player wanted. Another rule commonly put in place is that you can only buy a property by landing on it. We played it this way for years, going round the board hoping to land on that one square to complete a set…and missing it every time. That was the absolute opposite of a fun time.

Monopoly seems plagued by house rules, everyone has their own opinion on how it should be played and the first hurdle of any game is agreeing on the rules you’ll be playing with, expect at least one “…well, that’s not the way I play it!”

Of course, the best way of combating this is to use the printed rules, you know, the ones on the box lid or manual that everyone seemingly ignores. So, here it is, THIS is the proper way to play Monopoly…

You pick a random bit of junk (I’ll be the battleship) and start at GO! You roll two dice and you move your counter in clockwise direction. Where you land, you are able to buy that property for the list price. Here’s a rule that practically no-one pays any heed to. If you don’t want to buy it, it then goes to auction. That’s right, you don’t need to land on a square to buy it, in fact, using this method, you can get squares most instances for cheaper than list price. Of course, some asshole will see that you need said square to complete a set and will either keep bidding to run up the price to some astronomical level or to the point you go “fine! Take the damn thing”….you can begin to see how the arguments start in this game, but that’s just the beginning….

Playing this way, the property gets snapped up A LOT quicker and the game begins properly at a much faster rate. Naturally, opponents will snap up what they can for the cheapest prices and will buy property to spite you, you need kings cross station to complete the set? Tough luck, someone else bought it. So, what do you do, you want to build houses and hotels and, well, MONOPOLISE on things…

Well, you can trade! You can opt to swap properties, buy properties from other players and you set the price! This again can cause serious arguments…. Oh…OH you want mayfair do you? Oh ok, sure…£3000, or trade me your three stations for it. With wily players, this can get seriously heated, you’ll learn quickly that your loved ones and friends can be really vindictive and sly.

Once you have a full set of properties, you can then begin to build houses and hotels on them and this is where it starts to become seriously expensive. It’s an investment, and acts as a “give me your money now” space to every other player. Naturally, owning as much property as possible gives you the most opportunities to earn money off your fellow players, so getting as many as you can at the start is advantageous, however, being selective on the ones you buy is crucial. Old Kent Road is the cheapest…but it’ll give you the least amount of revenue off it where as Mayfair is the most expensive, will cost most the get hotels on there but will earn you the most revenue should players land on it. Pros will try to get all the stations as they appear on every side on the board. By the way, this is the UK version of the game with London based streets, these vary from country to country and state to state.

Landing on another players property means you owe them money and vice versa. If you’re lucky, you’ll find your cash growing…unlucky, it’ll dwindle into a few measly notes. And this will definitely get your goat up. Losing in this game sucks and it’s bitter. You’ll end up selling hotels, properties, stations just keep going and you know that you’re just prolonging the inevitable, with every sell you’re giving your opponents more ammunition to nuke your cash out of oblivion. And, knowing my friends and family, they won’t do this with good grace, they’ll smugly rub this fact in your face, waving wads of £500 in your face and your resentment and temper will rise.

Of course, I can’t not mention CHANCE and COMMUNITY CHEST. These squares will require you to draw a card and they’ll either help or hinder you, winning in a beauty pagent, win money, and of course the dreaded “GO TO JAIL, GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT £200” It’s so seldom you land on one and you’re praying for a good card, landing on one of these is like 50/50 luck, you want to land it rather than an opponents square and give them money but you don’t want to lose any more money with a bad card. That’s the thing with Monopoly, it builds mistrust for all your opponents you’d sooner take this option rather than give them a single penny of your earnings. 

The biggest problem with Monopoly is that whilst it would like you to believe there’s skill to how you play, it boils down to being predominantly about luck. Luck you land on a good property and can afford it, luck if opponents land on your hotels, luck if you land on theirs.

Naturally during the course of a game, someone will eye suspiciously the person playing banker and question if they’re giving themselves money and if they’re counting out money correctly. This game really is a tinderbox for arguments.

The game ends when everyone else is broke to the point that they’ve sold every asset and their money has dried up. It’s a last man standing affair and being “out” and watching others play on is a miserable affair. Most games of this I’ve played, we’ve all looked at what we’ve got left after it’s painfully obvious who’s winning and just said “look, we get it, you’re winning, you win ok, you win the sodding game, can this end now?” This game is a slow torture, and there’s been times were the game has ended with the board being flipped.

I’ve mentioned countlessly how this game causes arguments amongst my family and friends and it would appear that I’m not alone in this. Last year, Hasbro set up a help line dedicated for arguments that arose playing Monopoly. No, seriously, I’m not joking, this happened! People THAT angry and vexed that they were losing at monopoly could call and talk to someone who would tell them it was just a game and that the money was effectively worthless and calm them down. This game can really get under skin!



It bares mentioning that there’s been a slew of versions of Monopoly. Name a popular movie or TV franchise and it’s probably been Monopolised. Back To The Future, Ghostbusters, Firefly, Adventure Time, Lord Of The Rings, Star Wars, Star Trek, Simpsons, South Park, there’s seemingly no end to the versions of this game, each with their own new play pieces and themed boards.

 The game is essentially the same, you’re only kidding yourself that it’s different because it’s something that you enjoy. I’ve avoided these for the fear that playing a monopoly version of these will make me hate that movie or TV show. 

It goes without saying that I hate monopoly, I mean, I really hate monopoly. It’s cruel, it’s vindictive, it brings out the absolute worst In people and when the aim of the game is to worm every last penny out of your opponents, at Christmas it’s the very last game you should be playing. It’s the Gremlins of Games. There are countless other board games that you and your family and friends could play and have fun, actual real fun, at Christmas. So…

On Flix, On Grape Escape,

On Ker-Plunk and downfall,
On crossbows and catapults,
and Curse of the Idol

Play games full of joy
that are filled with good heart,
games that bring us together,

Not tear us apart

With your loved ones around,
play games that are fun,
filled with laughs and good times,
for everyone

Bring them down from the attic,
and have fun not a fight,
and merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night!

These three are going back up there, I’m not touching these this Christmas!

Beano Comics; a retrospective.

Watch the video Here!

Down From The Attic EP. 15- Beano Comics

When we think of comics in modern times, it’s hard not to think of either Marvel or DC, after all both are at the height of their popularities right now due to in part to the cinematic universes both are building and establishing. With titles such as Iron Man, Captain America, Batman, Thor, The Flash to name but a few, you’d be forgiven for your mind immediately going to superheroes when you think the word comic. However, today I’m not going to be looking at either Marvel or DC, I’m looking at a different comic, one that’s older than Marvel and has been entertaining children and adults alike for nearly 80 years. It’s the anarchic, manic, wacky home of Dennis The Menace, Roger The Dodger, Minnie The Minx, The Bash Street Kids, Ivy The Terrible amongst dozens more. I’m talking of course about the iconic Beano comic. Lets start with a little history...

Writing this now, I find it difficult to imagine anyone in the UK who hasn’t at some point read a Beano comic as a child or at the very least knows of the comic. Unlike Marvel and DC where there is a constant narrative and continuity to the comics, where devotion and dedication to a series is all but demanded to follow and understand the story, The Beano focuses on short panel strips full of silly and riotous humour. There is no over arching story, no continuity, the comic regularly plays fast and loose with the rules. I’d argue that the only rule the Beano has is to make it’s readers laugh which it’s done successfully for the past 8 decades.

The Beano first was published on July 30th 1938 and came free with a Whoopee Mask to entice new readers, only one of these masks is known to still exist. The bright colourful cover was to draw the attention too as the inner pages were all black and white. Big Eggo the ostrich took centre stage with the front cover and Lord Snooty is on page 3, a character and comic strip who still endures to this day, we’ll come back to him later. The comic was wildly different than it’s modern iteration, sections of the comic are given over to illustrated adventure serials such as Morgan The Mighty and Cracker Jack. It’s handy to remember that at the time of publication, Disney Studios had only been operating for 15 years, along with Warner Bros establishing the cartoon industry within the cinemas and introducing scores of children to the idea of comic shorts. Similarly, adventure serials such as Tarzan and Zorro found all new popularity with advent of talking pictures in the 1920s. The Beano aped on the popularity of these with their own adventure serials too. As time passed and the comic evolved to more comedy focused, these adventure serials would be mostly dropped, however a few later inclusions remain such as General Jumbo and his robotic army and Billy The Cat, the closest Beano comes to having an actual super hero.

The Beano would carry on introducing new characters and continuing their serial story telling up until the advent of the second world war. The war affected the comic massively, within the first month of war due to paper rationing the comic was cut from 28 pages to 24 and free gifts to the readers dried up too. As the war progressed, pagination reduced the Beano to 22 pages, 20, by 1943 the Beano was a paltry 12 pages. Publications had too dropped from a weekly basis to every other week. This of course had a impact on which strips would make it into each issue. However, the comic endured through it’s tough times and it cannot be understated how much of a comfort and a distraction to the frightening and horrifying times that children across Britain were facing. The Beano openly ridiculed Adolf Hitler, Goering and Mussolini. The nazi regime is almost always portrayed as being utterly incompetent and it’s members being buffoons, I find it incredible to think how the Beano knew how influential it could be as propaganda tool to educate children on the political and social landscape of the time. Through these panels, children learnt the importance of blacking out all lights at night, air raid sirens, recycling everything who the REAL bad guys were in the world. 

When the war ended, the approach of the 1950s saw The Beano heading into it’s Golden Age, an era where a plethora of characters which still feature in the comic saw their first introductions. The 1950s really shaped the comic into the form we recognise it today. On 17th March 1951, The Beano’s most famous character joined the comic in a half page strip. The spiky haired, striped jumpered mischief maker, Dennis The Menace. In a staggering coincidence, a comic strip in U.S . also called Dennis The Menace launched on exactly the same day. 

Roger The Dodger in joined 1952, followed quickly by Minnie The Minx in 1953 and the Bash Street Kids in 1954. This gang of naughty kids provided the frame work for the comic, getting themselves into trouble and angering the adults of Beanotown for the delight of their readers. Characters would regularly get wolloped with slippers or caned by teachers, another sign of the times, and certain strips would have the characters destroying slippers and canes in an attempt to stop punishment. 

As time went on, more characters were introduced, The 1960s saw Billy Whizz, the world’s fastest boy join the ranks, Dennis also found Gnasher and the strip was renamed, Dennis The Menace and Gnasher. The 70s saw Dennis and Gnasher supplant Biffo The Bear as the cover star due to the duos massive popularity with readers. 

The editor took note and launched the Dennis the Menace Fan Club, where members would receive two badges and a wallet. These told the world that you were a true Beano Fan and the badges and wallet are highly collectable now. This club had membership in the millions including celebrities such as Linford Christie and Mark Hamill, that’s right, Luke Skywalker became a Phantom Menace… Readers would send in funny photos, jokes, even letters to certain characters with hopes they’d win the coveted Beano Fan tshirt. The Dennis The Menace Fan Club would eventually give way to the Beano Fan Club.

Moving into the 80s saw even more characters join the fold such as Smudge, a kid who loved being dirty, Ivy the Terrible and one of my all time favourites, Calamity James, the world’s unluckiest boy. The 80s also saw the introduction of the Beano Vs Dandy battle, a fun lighthearted war of sorts. Beano would regularly tease and insult Dandy readers and likewise the Dandy with the Beano. There’s even a strip where Beano characters go to Dandyland and vice versa. In truth, the battle was internal in the offices of Beano and Dandy, artists and writers were shared between the two comics and it became an internal completion of who had the better comic week to week, the prize being a Toby jug. Ultimately, The Beano ended up being the winner, with the Dandy sadly ceasing to be published in 2012 after 75 years. Thankfully a number of The Dandy’s more popular strips would find a new home in the pages of The Beano, such as Bananaman.

This brings us to my collection of comics, most of my comics are from the 90s and even in this period, I noticed gradual changes to the comics. The Beano has always continually changed and evolved to suit the readers interests and humour. As mentioned, new characters would be introduced and less popular characters would be retired, quite charmingly into Beanotown Retirement Castle. However, the introduction of new characters isn’t the only way that The Beano reinvents itself. The comic has always looked at the world and lampooned and joked about trends, celebrities and culture, ouch, take that Kylie! Rodger The Dodger play with Gameboys and Gamegears, Mini The Minx has a video game console and at one point Dennis had a tamagotchi.

Keeping a keen eye on trends and pop culture and lampooning it isn’t the only way that The Beano has strived to stay relevant to kids. Characters have have had massive overhauls to make them more appealing and relatable to modern audiences. Lord Snooty has lost his top hat, suit and dapper attire for a more contemporary look, more akin to Richie Rich. Whilst not agreeable to long devoted fans of the comic, Characters regularly get overhauled and if it keeps the characters funny and entertaining, who am I to judge? Because certain comic strips have been running for decades it’s inevitable that different artists would take the mantle of continuing them when the previous artists retires or passes on.

 I remember my first introduction to Dennis The Menace with him being a large, almost teenage looking boy, drawn by the talented David Sutherland. Then in the early 90s, Dennis shrank and became a much younger looking depiction. However, the trademark spiky hair and red and black jumper remained and his design has remained largely the same since. 

From 1952 to Present day

Dennis’ Dad (That’s his REAL name in the comic…no, seriously, it is) has had a massive redesign and one that I find one of the best. Old Dennis’ Dad used to wear a red pin strip suit, balding in appearance with a trim little mustache. Now, Dennis’ Dad wears a red polo shirt and has hair VERY similar to Dennis. The reasoning behind this? The Dennis I grew up with in the 80s and 90s has himself grown up and is now father to another Dennis, one that drives him just as wild as he did to his dad. I just love this, talk about Karmic retribution. 

Walter The Softy, Dennis’ main adversary has changed radically from being a wimpy, weedy, sissy boy to a more scheming, devious and villainous depticion. Gone are the days of Dennis simply bullying Walter and his group of Softies, now it’s more like a back and forth battle of getting back at each other for being mean and nasty to one another. This makes Dennis look less a bully and have more rationale for his actions, even if they are with water pistols, peashooters and catapults. 

Mentioning bullying, in 2009 controversy hit The Beano with a redesign of Dennis and Gnasher. This was to coincide with the new Dennis and Gnasher cartoon on the BBC but with political correctness on the agenda, Dennis was redesigned to have no weapons, Gnasher to never gnash posties and other people and the menacing to happen by accident and naivety rather than intentional. Fan reaction was generally negative to this, and the strip was tweaked so that Dennis would still use his weapons, but never against people. 

....urgh.

During the writing of this, news broke on the 8th October that Dennis was being redesigned again for a new BBC computer animated tv show. The catapult is gone, along with all his other weapons…replaced with…an iPad. Gnasher looks as those he’s had his teeth filed and Dennis forms a band with new friends. Walter the Softie… isn’t a softie any more. Inclusivity is the main focus of the show and admittedly, despite what I said early, I really don’t like this. Dennis is a Menace, not a rock band member, not a minor pest to his parents and neighbours, he’s a menace. I’m thankful I grew up on the era of him causing real trouble, getting grounded and punished for being an bad kid. I never went around smashing windows with a catapult or firing peas at people with a peashooter but it was funny to see and kids KNEW the consequences of doing this in real life, every strip he’d get in trouble. Modern day Dennis would be slapped with an ASBO, I know but a menace with an iPad? What’s he going to do? Send a bad tweet to Desperate Dan? Down vote a Dandy youtube video?

Aforementioned, my collection spans the 1990s and the earlier comics in my collection have a mix between black and white and full colour pages. On October 16th 1993 the comic went full colour, something that had only been reserved for the Summer Specials. I personally loved the old comics hand painted and hand drawn look, whereas modern issues are all digitally drawn and coloured.

Alongside the weekly comic, The Beano had summer specials, a staple of going on holiday was picking this up in the departure lounge, some of my issues here have stains from where sun tan lotion got on the comic whilst at the beach. 

Starting in 1983, The Beano Comic Library were small comic books that took a singular character or strip from the weekly comic and dedicated a full story to them. I absolutely loved these and they really allowed the writers to dive into the characters more and put them in scenarios and situations that wouldn’t be possible within the weekly comic. These were printed in a black and white and colour fashion, very similar to the printing methods of older Beano annuals. Full colour stories of a similar vein were found in the Beano Super Stars comic book series, again, allowing for wacky and fun stories for beloved characters all retaining the trademark humour.

Next year, The Beano celebrates it’s 80th anniversary, truly a landmark date for any comic. The Beano is special, it’s undeniably British in it’s humour and artwork, it’s themes and jokes. As much as it lampoons and apes popular culture in the comic the comic itself IS pop culture, even doctor who loves The Beano. 

Who loves The Beano?

It’s absurd look at British culture and life means it’ll always remain fresh, it’s legacy and long standing appeal means that it’ll continue on for many years to come. My Grandad read The Beano, as did my dad before me and to know that these characters are as much a part of their growing up as they were mine, it’s incredible to think about. There’s so much more I want to talk about regarding the Beano but this video is getting long enough as it is. Check back in the future where I’ll explore The Beano Annuals, Videos, games and collectables. 

Downfall

 Check out the video review here!

Here’s an old game that you may have had a turn at playing at some point, Downfall. This particular copy is from 1977 though the game was first produced in 1970. The game itself is a strategy game of sorts in which you need to navigate these tokens through the wheels and into the trough below, sounds simple enough right? Not quite…



The contents to the particular variant of the game, incidentally the longest running iteration of the game, are incredibly robust and sturdy. There’s twenty coloured tokens, in four different colours and these are numbered 1-5. The main bulk of the game is this vertical plastic structure, the underside has these clips that push into the base and it really is as easy as that to set up. The board, if you can call it that, reminds me of the monolith from 2001. 



Starting the game, you must ensure that the wheels have these arrows aligned to the ones seen on the stand, this means that no token gaps are aligned for either player giving no-one an unfair advantage. The tokens are inserted into the top, 1 first through to 5 but you can reconfigure these and this affects play. To decide who goes first, generally i flip a coin or rock paper scissors. The player can then choose to rotate any of the dials as far as they like and in any direction they please. Both players don’t see the opponents side and in this manner, it can be compared to Battleship or Guess Who?  The objective of the game is to navigate the tokens down the wheels and into the trough in numerical order. The tricky thing is that your opponent will be turning dials and affecting your tokens paths. If a token falls out of sequence, that player loses instantly.

The wheels on your side and your opponents are connected though not aligned, the slots for tokens are not in the same position on both sides. Most turns of the dials you’ll unintentionally help or hinder your opponent and this brings an element of strategy to the game. You’ll also need to plan carefully your moves so that slots align up for you. Players may not rotate the dial that the other player previously turned and this rule means more clever thinking, do you attempt to move your pieces through the dials or turn a dial and hope you’re blocking progress for your opponent? Because the slots don’t match up side to side it’s safe to assume that if they’re open on your side, they’re closed on the other. Because you don’t know where your opponents tokens are within the game, you can opt different tactics to try and win. Sure, you can try to get your tokens through the game first but there’s also the option of trying to get your opponents to drop out of sequence, meaning an instant win for yourself. Smart players will listen for the telltale drop sound of a token falling into a slot on the other players side, you can have a rough idea of where your opponents tokens are if you pay attention.

 

There’s a few different ways that Downfall can be played, you can reverse the tokens order so that 5 goes in first up but still maintain the 1-5 drop rule. This makes it far more strategic if you’re willing to play to drop however this is flawed due to the fact your opponent will just race to make them drop out of sequence. You’ll battle to try and get your tokens out in order to leave less tokens in play for that to happen but it’s a tough game. Another variant is to try and attempt it one colour at a time, the first colour dropped on your side indicates that colour set must fall first, if one of your other colour tokens fall, it’s game over. You could swap counters and fill your opponents in a random order and spin the board around. Simplifying this for younger children, you could simply play the game where they need to get their tokens to the bottom regardless of sequence.

This is predominately a two player game though it is possible to play four players, one colour for each player. I’ve never played this four player so I can’t comment on how well this actually translates but my assumption is not that well. Because one of your opponents can see your wheels and your tokens I'd imagine it’d make it far more difficult to out smart that player. You could team up and make it two on two I suppose. 

 

In summary, Downfall is a fun rainy day game that on the face of it seems like a simple concept but has some strategy and memory elements to it. I appreciate the different ways that the game can be played and the different tactics that players may utilize to win and it’s mechanics and simple design means it’s accessible to all ages. Downfall is still being produced with a new funky design rather than this plastic blue slab that looks like a freeze pack. Vintage copies such as this aren’t too difficult and expensive to acquire should you fancy a round or two of this. Thanks again for watching, I’ll talk to you soon.

Grape Escape!

 Video review here!

Here’s a game I used to love as a kid, Grape Escape! Although this is undoubtedly a children’s game don’t be fooled...this game has a very dark side to it. 

Released by Parker in 1992, it’s one of those games that appeals to me, namely one which has a ton of plastic bits to the actual board. There’s a lot to this game, don’t worry, unlike Mousetrap where you build the mechanism up over the course of the game, this is built up before the game starts, that’s right, the trap is in play from the get go!



Your play pieces are made from Playdoh and there’s a very good reason for this. You pick your favourite colour, whilst savouring that fantastic Playdoh smell, and you use a plastic mould to shape up your play pieces. Trim the excess off, and you’re good to go. Even though you only play with one piece at a time the instructions advise you to make two play pieces and the reason becomes abundantly clear as you start to play. 

You roll the dice to move, the furthest you move can move is four spaces, this because two sides of the dice have other actions. You start in the barrel and navigate along the conveyor belts to the finish. The objective of the game is to safely navigate your way around the board through the grape juice factory (come on, we all know it’s wine…) and to the finish, pretty simple really. Except you have to go through the grape juicing machine, which will cut, stomp, mangle and saw your grapes to pieces… 

As mentioned before the dice has two unique sides, grape leap and crank. Grape leap means you move one space ahead of the leading player, incredibly useful or if you are the leading player, move one ahead. Crank is the die roll you either relish or dread… it means you crank the machine’s handle and put it into motion. Any grapes that are in the machine are cut to pieces, rolled flat and mulched, grizzly! If there’s no grape in the machine that player then pics a grape to put into the machine! This adds a very vindictive and ruthless element to the game. Stick that leading player under the saw, that’ll teach them to be winning! 

The boot I get, after all, traditionally grapes were trod upon to make wine but the saw?! This is outright sadistic! When you really think about what you're doing, it's incredibly violent! There’s the scissors that cut them in half and the most torturous method, the roller, start with the feet first..make him suffer! 

When a grape is mulched up, it’s back to the start. See why the instructions ask you to make more than one grape? It’s all but inevitable that you’re going to get killed in this game at some point and you’ll be regularly making a fresh back up. 

Grape leap and crank die roles can really change the fortunes of a game for players. You’re not safe just because you’ve past the saw, the final trap on the board. Someone can just roll a crank and move you under a trap. Similarly, someone right at the back of the game can roll a grape jump and be brought right to the front. It’s fun to see someone go from winning to rank last in a single dice roll and vice versa. 





I’ve played this again recently with friends on a board game night and it’s a riot. It’s a simple game to play and learn and it’s more or less luck of the dice roll that determines the winner. That being said, it’s incredibly satisfying to smash to bits your opponents play piece, i can't think of many other games that let you do this. Oh, and your hands will have that wonderful Playdoh smell on them for hours after.

Dragster

 Video review here!

This week, I'm looking at MB’s Dragster from 1976, don’t worry if you’ve never heard of it, there’s a good reason for it...

The first thing that you notice is that this is a relatively small board game compared with others from it’s time, it’s nearly four times smaller than Monopoly and Mouse Trap, and sadly, the fun and the entertainment value is four times smaller too. 



“The great dragster race game of speed and skill” I’ll be the judge of that, thank you. Dragster racing, you think of high speed excitement, exhausts spitting fire, huge rear tires, tiny bike wheels up front, cars that are pretty much a motorised missile on wheels. Well, forget all that when playing this game…



Opening the box, you’re presented with the game in it’s entirety. In fact, it’s one of the few games I know of that can be played in the box, this is it folks, this is what you get. The board is a moulded yellow piece with two slopes and two rubber triggers. 

Each player gets four dragster cars and a marble. The pieces are nicely made but lacking detail, the board is certainly robust and I do like the little dragster cars, they kind of remind me of Micromachines. 



Your aim is to ping your marble up the slope and it will land in one of the four lanes, pushing down the dragster car in that lane with it. Players fire their marbles at the same time so it’s a race of sorts to get all four cars down to the finish line and into the stalls, get all four cars down to the bottom, you win. That’s it. That’s the game. Sounds fun doesn’t it? Doesn’t it….?



All the dragster cars start at the top of the slope, there’s a small ridge at the top of each channel that the front wheels rest in. You then have to fire the marble up and hope that you end up pushing a car down the slope and over the finish line. You’ll find there’s always one channel that you can’t get the ball to land down, for me, it’s the one closest to the trigger. Again and again you’ll fire the marble up, but it’ll land exactly where you don’t want it too. You’d think that being sensitive to how hard to fire the marble up is the key to this and to some degree, you’re right. However, this little nub at the top of the slope allows the marble to bounce off and land in any of the four. It’s more a mixture of luck and skill that the ball ends up where you want it.

 Trying time and time again to get the ball down the channel you want gets boring and tedious very quickly and in a game that’s over as quick as this, that’s not a good thing. The game is also flawed in that using the trigger tends to shake the cars off the start line and they’ll begin rattling down the track themselves.



This game blows…my mind with how much instructions there are with it! Preparation? Are you kidding me? With a diagram to show how to position the cars at the start of game. Thanks, I was gonna fire the cars off the trigger, phew, thanks for telling me! Then there’s all these instructions for a game as simple as this! The funniest rule is “if a marble is shot so hard that it flies into an opponent’s track, then it is a FOUL” what game of this would that ever happen?! Having read this I’ve tried to make this happen but it just doesn’t want to. I can’t make the marble leave the board at all. The instructions are all written in masculine pronouns despite the box having art suggesting it for girls too…and 5-14 year olds? Good luck finding a 14 year old who’d want to play this.



Just because a game is retro and old, doesn’t mean that it’s automatically a classic. Good games endure through brilliant design and creating a willingness to want to play again, they have to be overall fun. This fails to be entertaining due to the repetitive and tedious nature of the game mechanics, it’s overall boring. The game’s saving grace is that at least it’s quick to play and when you’re fed up of it, playing it out the box means that putting it away is quick too. It’s about as much fun as being on a pinball machine and just letting the ball fall through the flippers each and every time. Like I said at the start, there’s a good reason this game is obscure and forgotten about, there’s better classic games to play.